Misdirected Searches

I get a lot of people coming here searching for things that have little or nothing to do with anything I write about. If I know something about their queries, I would like to help them. If their queries are amusing or interesting, I’d like to let people know about them. So a couple of times I’ve done brief posts giving answers to searches that have arrived here. However, I’ve decided it’s probably more useful if I collect as many of those search terms on one page, along with the best answers I can give, in order to hopefully get this page higher in the search engine ranks than my main blog post, so people see this page and get help, or not… I shall update this whenever the fancy takes me.

Elvis Costello Warm And Beautiful
As far as I’m aware this is only available on a McCartney/Costello bootleg called A Royal Performance. You should be able to find this on soulseek or whatever the cool kids use for music sharing these days.

Jake Thackray World War One Song
I suspect the song you’re after is one called The Cenotaph, which according to jakethackray.com was done for a TV show. I don’t believe this is available on any CDs at the moment.

words to beach boy song marcella
The lyrics to Marcella, and most other Beach Boys songs, can be found at cabinessence.net , one of the oldest Beach Boys-related resources on the web (I first saw it, when it was cabinessence.com , back in 1997, and it had been around a while then – I found it through The Ultimate Band List, before there was such a thing as a decent search engine).

he’s seven years younger than me
Is he? I’m not quite sure why you want to tell Mr Google that, but I’m sure he was pleased to hear it.

wondermints proto pretty download blog
You should really just buy the Wondermints’ self-titled album, which has the song on. They’re not exactly millionaires, and would probably appreciate the sale. However, if I recall correctly, the excellent Power Pop Criminals blog once posted a link to MP3s of the single version of this and its B-side, Silly Place (the song that ex-Wondermint Brian Kassan later re-recorded with his band Chewy Marble). I don’t know where the precise post is, but poke around there and you’ll find it, along with lots of other good stuff.

supergirl rape stories
Please kill yourself.
If you are the sort of person who is turned on by a) the rape, of b) an underage girl, who is c) a comic character with implausible anatomy, and furthermore you are so unimaginative that you need someone else to make up your rape fantasies for you, then there is absolutely no hope for you having any positive contribution to society, or ever doing a single thing to make the world even slightly better. All you are doing is wasting food and oxygen that could be going to much, much, much better use. You are quite possibly the worst human being to ever live. Kill yourself.

To be updated.

5 Responses to Misdirected Searches

  1. Pingback: Linkblogging for 20/05/09 « Sci-Ence! Justice Leak!

  2. sean witzke says:

    Hey you should feel lucky – like 90% of my searches are people who can’t spell “Pam Grier” because I posted a photo of her once.

  3. Tilt Araiza says:

    Dan, I know Marvel are giving you a kicking, but Googling your ideal plot ideas is not the way to find new writing talent.

  4. Chris Hall says:

    I have had searches for David Cameron, assorted sexual implements and devices, and some strange enhancement pills for the bedroom department lol!

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