Is there a new law which I’m not aware of that says that all cinematic showings much have a minimum quota of Sigourney Weaver in them?
Not that I’d complain if such a rule did exist, mind you — Sigourney Weaver is a fine, versatile, actor who is equally good in dramatic or comic roles. I’m always happy to see her turn up in stuff, and she’s usually good even in bad films.
But… well… let’s look at the last few times I’ve been to the cinema. I went to see the new, improved, Ghostbusters. Sigourney Weaver turns up at the end in a surprise cameo.
I went to see Finding Dory. That also has surprise Sigourney Weaver, playing herself, doing the recorded tour narration for the aquarium.
Then I went to the Starburst Film Festival. That did show some films which had no Sigourney Weavers in at all, such as the low-budget slasher film from Liverpool, or the zero-budget indie comedy from Australia. But it also showed Aliens and Galaxy Quest, both of which have a great deal of Sigourney Weaver in, so the ratio was kept up.
And then today, I went to see the Beatles Shea Stadium gig on the big screen. That was actually the third part of an “experience”, though.
To see it, first you had to sit through an hour of live footage of people like Bob Geldof and Madonna walking on some carpet in Leicester Square, interrupted by interviews with bemused random American filmmakers conducted by John Bishop, who kept claiming to be “from Liverpool”. (He was born there, but he grew up in Winsford like me. He may be a Scouser by birth, but he’s a woolyback by upbringing and it does him no good to try to hide it, he’s not fooling anyone).
Then there was an hour and a half of Ron Howard’s new film, which I think is called The Beatles Anthology TV Version Episodes 2 & 3 Slightly Reedited To Take Out The Bits Where John Makes Fun of Disabled People And To Add In Some Pointless Opinions From Richard Curtis and Eddie Izzard. Something like that, anyway. And in the middle of it there, again, was Sigourney Weaver. Caught in footage of the 1964 Hollywood Bowl show, and then talking about it afterward (she liked the Beatles, apparently).
So, is there a new rule that all screenings must include a Sigourney Quota? Well, we’ll have to see. I think the next trip I have planned to the cinema is to the Widescreen Weekend at the Media Museum in Bradford, the celebration of *really* big-screen films I go to every year. I wonder what they’re showing this year…
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