British Values

I am British. The things I value are mostly:
My wife
Lie-ins
Beach Boys records
People not bothering me
Getting a double seat on the bus so I don’t have to sit next to anyone
Old episodes of Doctor Who with William Hartnell and Patrick Troughton in
Peter Cook
Peter Sellers
Coffee
P. G. Wodehouse
George Orwell
Batman
Inventive swearing
and big books full of hard mathematics.

I look forward to these all being legislated for in Mr Cameron’s push for “British values”

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2 Responses to British Values

  1. I think we could do pretty well if we held out for the traditional ones: good manners, sportsmanship, queuing, sniggering at mildly dirty jokes, minding your own business, believing that everyone should be left alone provided they’re not breaking the law

  2. Tony Harms says:

    Insisting we’re not “really” British because one of our great grandfathers came from somewhere else (or because we’re Scottish).

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