Proper post later, but I wanted to make a tiny observation here about the stupidity of my own mental health:
I’ve spent more time socialising this past week than in maybe the six months before that. I went to see a double-bill of horror films with several of my friends, went to the wedding of two more friends which was attended by many more, had someone over to stay last weekend, and went out last night to see Singalonga Wicker Man in Leeds, again with friends. (This is also why I’ve not been good at replying to comments — it’s been a busy week).
Being around people makes me tired, and so I’ve spent a lot of the week feeling burned out.
Feeling burned out makes my anxiety and depression kick in.
My anxiety and depression make me paranoid.
The paranoia makes me interpret EVERY interaction with other people — even such seemingly unambiguously positive ones as, say, a hug — as proof that they hate me and want me to leave them alone.
So thanks to the wonders of having a brain with stupid wiring, I am now convinced that I have no friends and everyone hates me and doesn’t want to be around me, PRECISELY BECAUSE I’ve spent so much time with my friends this week because they’ve been inviting me to do stuff with them…