Shell-Shocked by @howardkaylan

For the next month or so, most of my writing time will be taken up with copy-edits on the Beach Boys book and on my novel (along with the Doctor Who posts and How To Build Your Own Time Machine). So for the next month most of what’s posted here will be rather light book reviews.

To start with, Shell-Shocked: My Life With The Turtles, Flo And Eddie, Frank Zappa etc. by Howard Kaylan.

For those who don’t know the name Howard Kaylan, he’s probably most famous as the lead singer of the Turtles. He sang lead on all their hits, as well as writing Elenore and a lot of their album tracks, but after they split up in the late sixties, he and Mark Volman (the Turtles’ backing vocalist, tambourine player, and comedian to Kaylan’s straight man) went on to do an immense amount of other interesting work — lead vocalists with the Mothers of Invention for a couple of years, backing vocals with T-Rex, backing vocals on Hungry Heart by Springsteen, and much more, as well as their own albums of hippie comedy-folk-pop under the name Flo And Eddie.

Kaylan’s autobiography is a fascinating, but frustrating read. Kaylan is clearly one of the more intelligent, thoughtful, 60s rock stars, and some of the insights given into the actual working methods of the bands he’s worked with are absolutely fascinating. I hadn’t realised before that Kaylan modelled his vocal style on that of Colin Blunstone (musically he and Volman were definitely Anglophiles, working with Ray Davies and covering the Small Faces at a time when those musicians were nearly unknown in the US), that he and Volman patterned their stage double-act on Louis Prima and Keely Smith, or that the Turtles’ stylistic change from their early folk-rock to the bouncy pop of Happy Together was inspired by the Lovin’ Spoonful, but all these things are very obvious once you know.

When he talks about this stuff, the book is at its best — I found the discussions of his writing the great Turtles song Marmendy Hill, or the recording of Lady-O (the last and best Turtles single) riveting, and also loved the insights into Zappa’s working methods, and little details like Springsteen being unable to sing on-key without holding his guitar.

Those portions of the book are, to my mind, easily the most interesting, and I wish there could have been more of them — the recording of the Turtle Soup album, for example (one of the best 60s pop albums of all time) is covered in a little over a page, although this is possibly because it was the Turtles album with least active involvement from Kaylan.

Almost as interesting are the anecdotes about other pop musicians, ranging from the heartbreaking :

When “The Puppy Song” played, Nilsson’s eyes filled with tears. “Dreams are only made of wishes and a wish is just a dream you hope will come true.”
“I was a pretty good singer once, wasn’t I?”
“You’re the best there ever was.” I told him, meaning every word. I was tearing up too.
“He took it from me. He stole my voice and I never got it back!”
The “he” that Harry referred to was John Lennon, who famously produced the Pussy Cats album for Nilsson in 1974. Harry spoke of the primal screaming contests that John would coerce him into.
“I can scream louder and longer than you!” and John could. But, sweet, gentle Harry couldn’t do it. He tried. The competition was fierce, and by the time Lennon returned to London, abandoning May Pang and the lost California years, it was too late; the damage had been done. Harry’s vocal cords were abraded beyond repair and the new stuff was scratchy and desperate. Harry cried.
“Once I was a king, Howard. Now look at me. I’m just waiting to die

to the… well, to this:

Tom Jones was an education all by himself. Every day, when the tour bus arrived at our venue, there were hundreds of waiting, screaming teenage girls, and Tom taunted them mercilessly from behind the safety of his window. He actually pulled out his legendary-for-good-reason schlong, which he had nicknamed Wendell, and waved it at the befuddled girls, who hooted, hollered, and pushed their friends aside to get a look at the one-eyed monster.
“Ooh, you’d like to meet Wendell, wouldn’t you, ladies? Arrrgh, here he comes, girls.” Tom was very advanced.

The best of the anecdotes reveal a huge amount about the musicians Kaylan has known (which seems to include almost every major figure from the 60s and 70s). The worst are just the usual stories of hedonistic excess that pad out every rock bio. For those, you had to be there, I suspect.

What’s rather sad here is that Kaylan’s personal life seems to have been a mess. I lost track of the number of wives he had (I *think* I counted five or six) because each marriage seems to be described in pretty much identical terms — Kaylan meets a woman and marries her. He is convinced that she is The One and he will never need another woman, she promises she’s going to get off the booze and drugs Real Soon Now. Cut to a year or so later, and he’s sleeping with every woman in the continental United States while she’s permanently off her head. Rinse and repeat. (Thankfully, his current wife seems to have been with him about twenty years, so maybe things are better for him now).

Frankly, the book is too short for what it’s trying to do, which is to be both a straight autobiography and a collection of anecdotes and reminiscences about other people. There’s almost nothing, for example, about Kaylan’s working relationship with Mark Volman — despite the fact that the two have been colleagues for fifty years now, I came out of the book knowing next to nothing about him.

But what *is* there, particularly in the first half, is essential reading for anyone who’s interested in the LA music scene of the 60s.

Penn Jilette’s foreword, as well, is fascinating, and makes me think rather better of him than I did previously:

Years later, brilliant voice actor Billy West would say, “There’s one show business.” I didn’t have those words for it then, but Frank Zappa, Howard Kaylan, and Mark Volman taught me that there was only one showbiz that night in Boston. These lightweights were onstage with the heavyweights and they were doing the best show I would ever see. Their voices were beautiful. The music was hard, and they were still having fun. Some of the jokes were very serious and over my head (what the fuck was going on singing in German about a sofa?). Some of the jokes were just stupid jock cock jokes that I would sneer at in my school. It was all mixed together. It was a show that was smart and stupid, heavy and light, beautiful and more beautiful.
They were doing a show with cheesy jokes, and it was also art. How could that be? It wasn’t stuffy—it was funny, entertaining, showbiz, vaudeville, and fun, and it still had content. Those turtlefucking Mothers with those motherfucking Turtles.
They did “Happy Together” in this Mothers show, and it was a really good song. And the music was more sophisticated than I had ever thought. Those perfect AM voices doing art. I loved hearing something I knew from the radio in a smarty-pants show. Were they making fun of it? Yes. Were they also playing it for real? Yes. Were they playing it because it was fun? Yes. My view of showbiz and art came together. It was that moment, during that show in Boston, that the line between showbiz and art was erased for me. If Turtles could be Mothers, maybe a hick juggler could speak his heart in a magic show.
I drove back to Greenfield and now did my best to look as much like the Phlorescent Leech as I could. When people said, “You look like that guy,” I said, “Yeah, the guy in the Turtles, he’s also in the Mothers now.” I was proud of being in showbiz and I was proud of how I looked, and I knew what I wanted to do in life. That’s a lot to learn from a couple of Turtles.

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7 Responses to Shell-Shocked by @howardkaylan

  1. TAD says:

    Penn’s a fascinating guy. I agree (almost completely) with his philosophy, which is hardcore libertarianism. Hardcore capitalist too.

    • Andrew Hickey says:

      I disagree with quite a lot of libertarian ideas, for reasons I’ll be going into in a whole series of posts I’m planning.
      I love Penn & Teller’s act, but I found their Bullshit! show to be intellectually dishonest, denouncing a dishonest rhetorical trick in one episode (when used by, say, creationists) then using the exact same tricks in another episode (against, say, environmentalists) on multiple occasions.

      • TAD says:

        From the interviews I’ve seen, Teller has been talking about something that I picked up on too a while ago (via Stephen Jay Gould)…….that evolution and Adam Smith’s capitalism are essentially the same theory. Someone can argue that capitalism is unfair and immoral, and that might be true. But I think you would also have to agree that despite this, capitalism is brutally efficient and any economic system short of capitalism will eventually get all mucked up. I have to say, from the interviews I’ve seen, I agree with Teller on virtually everything. Except he’s anti-religion, whereas I’m just indifferent to it.

        • Andrew Hickey says:

          I think both Teller and you are confusing free markets with capitalism there. The two are very, very different, and in fact capitalism is as much an enemy of the free market as state socialism is, if not more so. But again, this is something I’ll be covering in a few months…

          • TAD says:

            Okay…..I look forward to reading more of your thoughts about this in the future.

            I still wouldn’t describe myself as a hardcore capitalist, but as I get older I’m edging more toward the side that says, “That government is best which governs least.” And unfortunately, virtually over the entire world, governments are getting more and more powerful in disturbing ways. New arms of the government are being created constantly, and existing arms strengthened, and there’s little to no oversight. Government says, “Trust us, we have safeguards built in,” but events show that we can’t trust ANYONE with power. It’s human nature….give someone power, and they’ll find a way to abuse it.

        • Tony Harms says:

          My recollection is that Gould thought Darwin was inspired by Adam Smith’s argument that what looks like an immensely efficient and well designed system is actually the result of millions of essentially unplanned actions and reactions. Smith called this “the invisible hand”.That’s very different from saying that a free market and nature are both examples of the same sort of system and/or that such a system cannot be overcome.

          • TAD says:

            Yeah, I saw an interview with Gould where he was talking about that…..how Darwin was studying Adam Smith’s economics when he began to see the parallels it had with the natural world. Gould (as I understand it) was saying that God or supernatural power isn’t necessary to drive the natural world, in the same way that government (or central planning) isn’t necessary to guide the economy. Leave the economy alone and things will work themselves out. Just like in nature.

            Gould really impressed me with this insight (and I’m not sure the insight is his originally, but that’s where I first heard it).

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