Boltzmann And Boltzwomann
(A short-short story I wrote recently. Too short to make an ebook in itself, but I’ll include it in a short story collection at some poin).
t was a fine romance. The finest in fact. Even though they never met each other.
Jerry Taylor knew he loved Linda Soames from the moment he first saw her. They were obviously meant for each other. She took a little longer to fall in love with him, but it was only a matter of weeks before the two were agreed that they’d never met anyone like the other, and that no-one else would ever do for them.
They were married within a year, and spent the rest of their lives together, happily. They had three lovely children, who went on to have jobs that brought them slightly more financial success than their parents had, but not enough that they lost sight of where they came from. They celebrated their sixtieth wedding anniversary on a cruise around Hawaii with their grandchildren and great-grandchildren all around them, and when they finally died, as people do, they did so only a few hours apart.
But technically, they never existed in the same universe at the same time.
The multiverse is a bigger place than we imagine, or indeed than we can imagine. The mathematician Max Tegmark says, in fact, that not only every possible physical universe exists in it, but every possible mental universe. Any self-consistent mathematical system is its own universe, equally real with our own.
Including the ones containing Boltzmann brains.
A Boltzmann brain is a brain that comes into existence in a universe which is otherwise at maximum entropy. There’s nothing else in the universe, and then, blip! – a brain appears, complete with memories of an entire life that never happened. It has time for one single thought, and then it disappears out of existence again.
Given enough time, enough trillions of years, a second Boltzmann brain will appear, identical to the first except it’s now had that extra thought. Over googolplexes of years, this brain would live a normal human life in nanosecond-long installments, all its awareness of its surroundings being just false memories, and with no connection between its existence in one subjective moment and the next. But it would have a real, long, fulfilling life. Just like Jerry did.
Linda, on the other hand, didn’t even have that much physical existence. She was an artefact of a computer program that was never run. A computer scientist worked out a starting state for a cellular automaton which, if run, would have implemented a Turing machine, which in turn would eventually (after several quadrillion iterations) have simulated Linda’s entire life and all her visible surroundings. Her entire life, everything she ever thought, felt or experienced, was implicit in the twenty lines of Perl code the scientist had written down, but no computer in the world had the memory to run it or ever would.
Coincidentally, the Boltzmann brains that were Jerry Taylor contained faked memories that matched exactly the parts of the Linda program where she would have spent time with the man she loved. And the Linda program would eventually have produced a bunch of cells that implemented instructions that produced a simulacrum of a man within Linda’s range of vision, and that simulacrum would have behaved in exactly the same way that the Taylor brains would have, had they been connected to a body.
The children, grandchildren and so on, of course, had no independent existence of their own, and winked out of existence every time they were not in the presence of Linda or Jerry. They were just a shared hallucination of the Boltzmann brains and the computer program that was never run. But their lives were happy enough, for what they were.
Somewhere out there, in a universe we can never access, Jerry’s brain is popping briefly into existence again. For him, it is currently 1952, and Linda and he are on their second date. It’s the only experience that brain will ever have, before dissolving back into the mass of superheated protons from which it came, but it’s a happy experience. That nanosecond isn’t a bad life, all things considered.
And Linda? No-one’s even going to get round to writing her program for at least another sixty years. She doesn’t exist yet, even though Jerry is looking at her right now and wondering if she’ll let him do more than kiss her this time. But those twenty lines of perl code contain, in their own way, a recipe for happiness, if only they were to be followed closely enough.
And if Jerry and Linda live their lives totally oblivious of the nature of the universe they’re living in, if they’re completely unaware of their own natures and deluding themselves into thinking they’re something they’re not, and if neither of them will ever share a second’s real communication with the person they love, doesn’t that just make them human?
Time Detective Chapter Two
[For part one of the story, click the "time detective" tag]
So I should probably explain what it actually is that I do, shouldn’t I? I’m a private detective, but I started out as a physics student. I was planning on a relatively dull career in academia, as a matter of fact – I was interested in doing some work in gravitational physics, which was hardly a cutting-edge whizz-bang area, and the Brian Cox career path had yet to be invented. My plan was to finish my Master’s, get a doctorate, then settle into a life of producing three or four papers a year which nobody would read.
But I made two big mistakes. The first was putting a chemistry module down as one of my optional modules, because I didn’t like the look of electronic engineering. The other was actually paying attention.
A chance remark in an organic chemistry lecture about an unusual property of thiotimoline caused me to think about what would happen to the shape of the molecule in a Gauss-Riemann geometry. I put that together with a couple of other things – which I’m not going to mention here, obviously – and suddenly found I had worked out a way to travel through time. And not one of those “build two black holes ten thousand light years apart and rotate one of them” jobs. This required practically nothing – you probably have most of the equipment to build a small time machine yourself, though you could probably only go back a week or so on a domestic power supply without blowing a fuse.
I posted something on USENET, not saying exactly what I’d done – I didn’t want to pre-empt publication and risk that Nobel prize – but posting a couple of the calculations in a different context, as a gedankenexperiment, just to make sure I hadn’t done anything incredibly stupid.
Two hours later, a man I didn’t know, in an immaculately-tailored suit, one that fit so well that the gun he had in his pocket was extremely conspicuous, showed up at the door of my room in Halls and asked me to take a walk.
As we walked through Sackville Park, he explained the situation to me.
“You’re not the first to figure it out, you know. Feynman knew the trick, and Von Neumann. Godel probably did as well, though by the end he didn’t know much of anything. We get about one undergrad every three or four years figuring it out now.”
“So why haven’t I heard of it before?”
“Oh for God’s sake, man, I thought you were meant to be clever. It’s too dangerous ever to be made public.”
“Dangerous? But I’ve proved that changing history and paradoxes are both impossible. This would only work in a universe with a single consistent history.”
“Exactly. Think about what that means, for a moment, man. Say you want my PIN number. You say you’ll try 1111, and if it works, write it down on a piece of paper and send it back to yourself five minutes earlier. If it doesn’t, you write 1112 and send it back to yourself.” He sat down on a bench. “The only consistent history where that works is the one where you instantly get a piece of paper with my PIN on it. All cryptography becomes useless. All national secrets are instantly open to anyone. The whole fabric of civilisation comes under threat.”
“So, what, you want me to stop investigating this stuff?”
“Not at all. We know that you can’t get the truly curious to ever stop experimenting. You want to build a time machine for your own personal use, we can’t stop you – the components are too easy to get hold of. What we want you to do is to sign the Official Secrets Act – you never tell anyone else how to do it, and any attempt to misuse the technology gets you convicted of high treason. Also, you quit university, today. We don’t want you slipping bits of these ideas out, even by accident.”
“Quit university?!”
“Yes. Drop out. Find another job. Whatever you want – the government will pay you thirty thousand a year to keep your mouth shut, anyway, and you can carry on your research in your own time, so long as you pass all your work on to the government. That’s the deal, take it or leave it.”
“You offer that to everyone who figures this out?”
“Yes, it’s our standard offer.”
“And has anyone ever turned you down?”
“Oh, one or two, one or two…” he stood up,“I’ll be round tomorrow with your copy of the Official Secrets Act.”
As he went, he patted the statue that he’d been sitting next to on the bench. The statue of Alan Turing.
I did as he asked.
So now, I work as a private detective. Not because I need the money as such, but just to give me something to do with my brain now that physics isn’t an option. Not that most of my cases require much of a brain. But a few require a little investigation, and that’s where I have the edge over my competitors. With my personal-sized time machine I can only go back in time a week or so, and I have to be careful not to give myself too much information about the future (the government keep a very close eye on trans-temporal communication – any sudden lottery wins and I’d be the richest man in the graveyard), but it does mean that if someone says their husband came home late last Wednesday, for example, I can go back and follow him and see where he went.
Those are the neat cases, of course. This one was worse. This time someone was dead, and it was my fault, somehow. And I was going to have to go back and meet this man, knowing he was going to die, and knowing there was nothing I could possibly do to stop it.
It’s days like that that make me wish I’d gone for electronic engineering after all.
Time Detective Part 1
I’m too ill to write today (my blood pressure’s increased. giving me an awful headache), but I found this on my hard drive when looking for something else. It’s the first chapter of a science fiction detective novella I started writing. If people like it, I’ll write the rest. Let me know what you think:
Time Detective
I got into my office about ten minutes after I received the message from myself, letting me know the client was going to be coming. I could have got there quicker, but I like to leave a little bit of time to let myself get out of the way.
I’d not been in for a week, since getting the first message from myself, telling me to keep clear, but the place was pretty much exactly as I’d left it.
Work had been a bit light for a couple of months. There are only so many adulterous husbands you can follow or pet cats you can track down before you realise that the life of a private detective is staggeringly unlike that of a Philip Marlowe or a Sherlock Holmes. Unless there’s a Holmes story I’ve not read called “The Case Of The Drunken Arsehole Who Gave His Wife The Clap”, anyway. It’s an unpleasant, dirty, sleazy job, and not one I’d recommend to anyone else.
Of course, I have certain… advantages… that make me very, very good at it. And that was why I was heading to my office at the ridiculous hour of ten in the morning, to meet up with someone who would undoubtedly be asking me if I could add up the clues of the used condom wrapper she’d found in her husband’s pocket and the money that had been disappearing from their joint account and come up with an answer she might actually like.
So I got to my office and opened a bottle of whisky. The truth is, I don’t touch the stuff, but I found early on that clients want to see a hard-boiled hard-drinking Sam Spade gumshoe, even when you’re operating out of a rented office suite in a suburban industrial estate. The smell of whisky, like the five o’clock shadow, makes them think you’re a rule-breaking wise guy who kicks ass and takes names.
And of course there’s an element of truth in that – you have to be prepared to do a few things in this business that are, at best, dubiously ethical. Though not so much in the cases with the lost cats. And you have to be prepared to defend yourself. I’ve had a few newly-ex husbands come to see me to try to extract their alimony payments from me in the form of teeth.
But in general, that kind of thing is all about image. You can go down two routes in this business. You can either look like an actual thug – skinhead, broken nose, missing teeth, neck wider than your head – or you can go for the more sophisticated-but-still-dangerous look. Give the impression of a man weighted down by a great and terrible secret that means he has nothing left to lose. The latter is not only easier when you’re as skinny as I am, but it also gets you a better class of customer. I’m not really interested in the type of cases that require breaking someone’s kneecaps.
So I open the bottle, undo the top button of my shirt, loosen my tie, basically all the stuff that will give the impression that I’m a 1940s film noir macho man and not Bill Dobson from Wilmslow, who still shares a flat with a bloke he met at university, and whose reading matter tends more towards New Scientist and The Guardian than thrillers.
The client doesn’t know I know she’s coming, of course, which allows me to get into the perfect position for when she opens the door. I turn my chair round so I’m facing away from the door, put my feet up on the small filing cabinet I only keep for this purpose (I store all the information about my cases on my iPad, but that doesn’t really fit the image), and hold my phone up to my ear and pretend to be talking to a satisfied client.
“…No, no, that’s absolutely fine,” the door opens behind me and I raise a finger, in a ‘wait one moment’ motion, “there’s absolutely no need for a reward. You’ve already paid me handsomely…”
The phone is smashed out of my hand, and knocked to the floor, and my chair is spun around, knocking my feet off the cabinet and sending me flying to the floor.
“Shit, that’s all I need,” I thought to myself, “an angry husband.”
It’s at times like those that I really wish I’d been able to figure out a better way of warning myself about things like this.
But then I looked across, and from my admittedly limited vantage-point, it looked to me like this wasn’t an angry husband at all. While it’s not completely unknown for angry husbands to be wearing high-heeled shoes, most of them were in a larger size than this, and very few of them had the legs to really carry it off.
“You bastard!” the not-husband screamed at me.
I staggered to my knees and looked up. Definitely not a husband.
“You bastard!” the not-husband repeated, keeping to a theme she was evidently comfortable with, “You utter bastard! Paul trusted you!”
This was not how I was expecting the day to go at all, and if it weren’t for the fact that it’d have caused a paradox I’d have wished I’d stayed in bed and let myself deal with it.
“Excuse me,” I said, as calmly as I could with my head still at the not-husband’s groin level, “but would you mind explaining to me what you’re talking about?”
“Paul. Paul Bradshaw. Your client! My husband!”
Now, this was suddenly starting to make sense. I’d obviously let my client down in some way. The fact that this particular client’s name was completely unknown to me didn’t really matter – if you learn clients’ names, you only get attached to them, and the next thing you know you’re submitting accurate expense forms. Plus, of course, there are always those clients whose names I’ve not been told. From the sounds of things, Paul was one of them.
“Sorry, I’m not really awake yet. Would you mind telling me exactly how I let him down?”
“He’s dead! And it’s your fault!”
Well, as let-downs go, that’s certainly a big one. But I was still not sure exactly how this was my fault.
“What happened?”
“I found him last night, when I came home from work. He was hanging from the bannister, holding a note in his hand that just said ‘I’m sorry’.”
She burst into tears. By this time I’d finally got to my feet, so I pulled up a chair for her, and she sat down. I sat on the desk and handed her the box of Kleenex I keep for such situations, making a mental note to invoice her for it if she became a client.
“So he killed himself, then?”
She looked up at me, incredulously. “No, of course not!”
“But… but the note…”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise that sign on your door actually read Private Defective. Of course he didn’t fucking kill himself. He was murdered.”
“Murdered?”
“Yes, merrderred,” she said, doing a rather poor impression of my voice. Under the circumstances I could, of course, understand her being less than friendly, but this was still not exactly the most pleasant introduction to a client I’d ever had.
“Do the police agree?”
“Of course not! If they thought he’d been murdered, they’d have to do some sodding work! It’s already down as suicide, case closed, end of story!”
“So what makes you so sure it wasn’t suicide?”
“OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE! If he was going to kill himself, he’d hardly have hired you as a bodyguard, would he? Arsehole.”
And it all snapped into place.
Poor Paul must have hired me as a bodyguard about a week ago, because he was in fear for his life. Obviously, I’d not done a particularly wonderful job of guarding his body, as it was no longer in the state he’d wanted me to keep it in, viz. breathing, conscious, etc.
All of a sudden, it became entirely apparent that the not-husband was, in fact, being rather more charitable to me than I’d thought. I’d taken her husband’s money, and promised to keep him safe, and he’d died. Under the circumstances, the fact that I still had the same number of teeth I’d woken up with was far more than I could have expected.
“I…I can’t apologise enough.”
“No. No you can’t.”
“I did everything I could, believe me,” though why she should believe me when I clearly hadn’t done everything I could, I didn’t know, “and I will never, ever forgive myself for letting your husband down like this.”
That, at least, was true.
She burst into tears. “I’m sorry. I know you did. Nobody could have saved him, by the end. It’s just… I’m sorry…”
I didn’t know what to say, so I ended up saying the worst possible thing I could have done, under the circumstances.
“Look, I may not be a good bodyguard – it’s not something I normally do, and I’ve no idea why I agreed to do it for Paul – but I’m the best detective I know of. I can’t bring Paul back. No-one can. Nothing can make this better. But I promise you this – I will hunt down the bastard who did this and bring them to justice.”
She looked up at me “Really?”
“Yes, really. In fact, you have my guarantee that I’ll have enough evidence to get them arrested and tried within two days.”
Shit.
I shouldn’t have said that.
Now I only had a week to get the evidence together.
The Capture (Doctor Watson Investigates: The Case Of The Scarlet Neckerchief part IX)
(For parts one to eight of the good doctor’s investigation, click on the Doctor Watson Investigates tag. A revised ebook of this story is now available – on Amazon (US), Amazon (UK) and Smashwords.)
I stared, dumbstruck, at the hair for a length of time that felt like an eternity but must only have been a few seconds. This was the woman who had visited me the previous morning (was it merely a day hence? It felt like many months), but she was now red-haired, when she had been dark-haired when I had seen her later that day.
And then I remembered. Rose Travers, the missing woman, had looked just like her sister. Cynthia had even told me when she visited me “Were it not for the flaming red hair for which she was named, one could almost have thought her my twin.”
I had been visited not by Cynthia at all, but by her sister Rose.
But why should Rose have visited me with a story about her own disappearance? A story, what is more, that both Cynthia Travers and Earl Hernshire seemed to believe to be correct, as well as Rose’s unfortunate fiance Roger. This was becoming a most perplexing and bizarre mystery indeed.
I related the events of the last day to Lestrade, along with the story that Rose had told me. How much of that tale was fictitious I, of course, did not know, but those few events which I had been able to verify had proved trustworthy, so I believed that in its broad outlines it was true.
And in telling Lestrade the story – of the dead mother who had inherited a fortune after her brother’s disappearance, of the appearance of the baby, of the fiance who travelled a lot, of the adopted sisters who nonetheless looked like twins, and of the woman who had come to me to report her own disappearance – I had a horrifying realisation, one that I should have had much earlier.
I knew who the murderer was, and what his motive had been. The final proof came when I examined the body, and found the neckerchief which she had shown me yesterday nowhere to be seen.
“Lestrade! Quickly, we must get to the docks! And pray God we are not too late!”
I do not exaggerate when I say that that six-mile journey seemed one of the longest of my life. The cab journey to Wapping could surely have taken no more than three-quarters of an hour by the clock, but it felt like an eternity to one who knew that justice would be served or forever denied by our speed. Rose Travers had, it now appeared, been a liar and a party to terrible crimes, but her death still needed to be avenged by the law.
Upon finally arriving at the docks, we found them bustling with all the many species of humanity from all parts of the Empire, loading and unloading crates, boxes and barrels of every imaginable exotic item. After some confusion, we finally found someone who spoke something recognisably akin to English.
“Is there a boat going to Africa from here any time soon?” I asked.
“No boats here, mate.”
“A ship, then. Is there a ship going to Africa from these docks today?”
“Yep. That’un over there. Leaves in a hour.”
We raced to the ship, ran up the gangplank despite protestations from some of the sailors, and Lestrade and his two constables began their search, looking for the man whose description I had given them on the journey. However, as they were looking, I saw a figure approaching from the docks.
It was the killer! We had managed to arrive before him, and looking at him it was clear to see why. He had obviously changed his clothes, from the respectable outfit I had seen him in to the drab workman’s clothes he now wore. He had also affected a stoop, in order to fit in better with the mass of humanity around him. I, however, would have recognised him anywhere.
In retrospect, it would have been the intelligent thing to hide, allow him to board the ship, and then arrest him. In my enthusiasm and anger, though, I shouted “Hoy!” as soon as I saw him, and he turned, dropped his bag, and fled.
I sprinted down the gangplank, closely followed by Lestrade and his constables. Had the dock been less crowded I should have pulled out my service revolver and shot at the miscreant, for he was younger than I and unencumbered by a war wound. Fortunately, the policemen were faster than I, and they caught him before he could make good his escape.
They dragged him, still protesting, in front of me.
“Is this the man?” asked Lestrade.
It was. The man in front of me, bedraggled though he was, was undoubtedly the same man I had met the day before, and who without realising I had glimpsed catching the earlier train that morning.
“That’s the man. He calls himself Roger Courtenay, but I doubt it’s his real name.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” protested the villain, “I’ve never heard of any Roger Courtenay.”
“Search his pockets.”
His pockets were searched, and in one was found the same blood-encrusted red neckerchief that Rose had shown me the day before.
“That should be enough to see him hanged,” said Lestrade.
“Indeed. But it should be under his real name. Would I be right in thinking that your real name is not Courtenay but Hemingford?”
The shock on the villain’s face told me I was correct.
“How in God’s name did you know that?”
“Oh, it was obvious. Why else would you kill your sister?”
(Tomorrow – the return of Holmes and the final explanation)
Two Wires (Doctor Watson Investigates: The Case Of The Scarlet Neckerchief part IV)
(Click the Doctor Watson Investigates tag for parts 1 – 3. A revised ebook of this story is now available – on Amazon (US), Amazon (UK) and Smashwords.)
I examined the cloth carefully, but however many secrets it may have yielded to Holmes’ eye, to mine it was only a bloodied cloth.
“And you say your sister kept this with her at all times?”
“She had never been parted with it from the day we found her. I fear, Doctor Watson, that Rose would not be parted from it by anything short of her death. And I fear that whoever did this will do the same to me.”
“The fiend!” I expostulated. “And you have no idea who it could be?”
“Sir, I can honestly say that neither Rose nor myself has an enemy in the world. We have led a solitary existence, and have few acquaintances and fewer opportunities for disagreement. Had this occured some years previously, I should perhaps have suspected one of father’s political opponents, but he has retired now, and surely not even a Tory would choose to attack a man through his children?”
I declined to comment. One does not discuss politics with ladies.
“It might be, though, someone opposed to father’s stance on Home Rule for the Irish. He is a Moderate, and received threats from both sides. Few things arouse men’s passions as much as a devotion to the land of their birth, whatever land that may be. But still…to go after poor Rose seems too brutish!”
“I should say so. To fully describe my feelings about such animals would require me to use language that a gentleman would never use in the presence of a lady.”
I pondered the situation for some moments, then walked over to the writing desk. I took out a telegraph pad and pencil, and quickly jotted down “FOUL BUSINESS STOP ONE PROBABLE MURDER ANOTHER YOUNG LADY THREATENED STOP POSSIBLE POLITICAL MOTIVES STOP PLEASE ADVISE ADDRESS TO WRITE WITH MORE DETAILS JHW” along with the false name and address Holmes had given me, and rang for Mrs. Hudson.
I gave the telegram to Mrs. Hudson and asked her to arrange its delivery as soon as possible, then turned my attention back to the young lady.
“I shall, of course, inform Holmes of all of this, but from time to time Holmes requests the assistance of specialists in other fields. Your tale has some points of interest that I thought one of his associates might be able to help with, hence the telegram.”
“What points of interest?”
I must confess I hadn’t expected such a question. When Holmes says such things his clients invariably accept it.
“Oh, nothing to concern yourself with. What we do have to concern ourselves with is your protection. While I devoutly hope that your suspicions as to your sister’s fate are unfounded, we do not want you to share that fate. Have you anywhere you can stay?”
“My father has a house in town.”
“No, that won’t do. If this is someone who wishes your family harm, he will surely know of the address.”
I pondered the matter for some moments, and then it came to me. I knew the perfect place. I had only recently moved back in with Holmes, and my old house was currently empty. I had been planning to let it, but as yet it had no tenant.
I explained the situation to Miss Travers, but she seemed concerned.
“Is it entirely proper? I am an unmarried woman, and you are, if you will forgive me for saying so, an older gentleman.”
“I’m not yet forty!”
“Even so. It would not appear right.”
“My dear lady, we do not wish it to appear like anything. We shall inform no-one of your presence there. In fact to do so would be to open you up to precisely the attack we are attempting to avoid.”
I hailed a cab, and escorted her to the house that had so recently been the centre of my life, and which held so many happy memories now turned bitter-sweet.
I quickly excused myself, once I was assured of Miss Travers’ safety, and left in something of a despondent mood. I consoled myself, however, with the thought that the old house was being used once more, and by a woman almost as beautiful as the one who had lived there so recently. My unhappiness would, at least, have some positive effect.
Having returned to the rooms I shared with Holmes – rooms whose memories were far more eventful but far less melancholy – I poured myself a brandy and began to consider the next course of action. Miss Travers was safe for the moment, but her story hinted at an almost diabolical intelligence, one who would stop at nothing to get what he thought was his.
It seemed to me an utterly insoluble conundrum. Letters arriving without being delivered, sent by the enemy of a girl who had no enemies, leading to that macabre bloodstained neckerchief. Rarely had such a ghastly case been brought to my attention, and rarely had one seemed so incapable of solution.
Nonetheless, I put my trust in Holmes. Some of my readers have mocked the way I marvel at his deductive skills, claiming that his feats of reasoning are mere parlour tricks, of which any normally observant man would be capable. If this is the impression I have given, I can only say that the fault is in my work, not in Holmes. I cannot imagine that a quicker, more lively mind exists in the world. He is, in the field of deduction, what Newton or Napoleon had been in their respective fields, and I daresay it will be many centuries before a fourth brain of that calibre arises to join that exalted trio.
So I was certain that were Holmes to be apprised of the facts of the situation, he would undoubtedly find a solution to the problem in a short time. Luckily, my questioning of Miss Travers had elicited so much detail that Holmes would surely have all the information he needed without having to cut short his European adventures.
I sat down at my desk and began composing a letter to Holmes, detailing the strange and marvellous occurences Miss Travers had related to me. But I had only got as far as her sister Rose’s mysterious arrival as a baby, when there came a knock on the door.
It was a telegram being delivered. And its twelve words were ones that made my heart stop.
“SH NO LONGER AT THIS ADDRESS STOP NO FORWARDING ADDRESS STOP APOLOGIES”
Fragment of a story
Just found this while looking through some of the drafts of my fiction. I’ve got no idea where the story was going, but I quite like what there is of it…
Birthright
It is unacceptable that in these politically correct times, we cannot even talk about the very real problems caused by mass birth, without being accused of being natalist. While this publication does not, of course, endorse the views of hate organisations like the Post-Natal Abortion League, we can no longer stand by while people continue to practice ‘medical’ skills like midwifery. Britain is overcrowded, and the medieval practices of ‘pr*gn*ncy’ and ‘giving birth’ need to end.
Daily Mail leader article, 20th June 2085
#
The car was parked outside the factory building, the four members of Action Against Anti-Natalists sat inside as the evening got darker.
“That’s the last of the workers gone, then?”
“Leave it another ten minutes, just in case there’s any stragglers left.”
“Now this is going to be your last chance to back out of this. If any of you are at all unsure about the righteousness of our cause, get out now while you can. Arthur, you still in?”
“I wouldn’t have spent the last three months building the equipment if I had any doubts, would I?”
“Fiona?”
“Yeah, I’m still in. It should be a laugh.”
“Martin?”
“I’m hardly going to back down now, am I?”
“Good, because this is the most important moment of our lifetime, a chance for the trueborn to reclaim our birthright from the clones, a chance for us to strike the ultimate blow, a –”
“Dave?”
“Yes, Martin?”
“This is a chance for you to shut your mouth and let us get on with the job.”
#
Crime And Birth: One of the most important issues facing the country today is that of the born. Many citizens feel that in these straitened economic times, it is unfair for the born to demand support from the State for eighteen years after their birth before they start work, while hard-working citizens are starting work from the day they’re produced. For that reason, and to combat the anti-natalist violence which is disrupting our inner cities, we have decided, reluctantly, to replace State support for the Born with a loan system. If we get elected, all costs incurred by the State for feeding, clothing, educating and housing the Born from their birth until the age of eighteen will be taken from them as a 50% tax on their earnings after that time, with interest accumulating at 10% above inflation. We believe that this is the only fair way to stop the Born being a burden on society.
Freedom Party manifesto, 2086 General Election


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