Sci-Ence! Justice Leak!

HOWTO: Create a usable ePub file for Lulu.com

Posted in books, computing by Andrew Hickey on January 30, 2011

I’ve been having a lot of problems with getting my latest ebook uploaded to Lulu, and I know other people have had similar problems, so here’s what I’ve learned so far. (Currently I’ve *finally* got to the point where they’ve accepted my ePub file, but then the next screen gets me an ‘unrecoverable error’).

I’m assuming, first of all, that like me you’ve created your book in a WYSIWYG word processor (like Microsoft Office or AbiWord or LibreOffice) rather than having it already in some suitable XML-like format or creating it in LaTeX or something. If you know enough to do those things, you know enough to hand-hack an ePub file anyway.

But if you have your book as an .odt , .pdf , .rtf or .doc file, you’ll want to convert it and preserve most of your formatting. The best software to do this is a Free Software package called Calibre, available for download for Windows, Mac and GNU/Linux here (though if you have GNU/Linux on your machine it’s almost certainly in the repos of your distro, and you should get it from there).

However, Calibre has what seems to me a rather unintuitive interface full of giant blobby teletubby icons. If you have any difficulty using it, you might want to use this site, which is just a web front-end to Calibre. I have no idea what, if anything, they do with your file once it’s uploaded, so the usual caveats about ‘cloud’ services apply, but I can confirm that the ePub files they generate are valid ones, and generated with a recent version of Calibre (0.7.40 – for comparison the version in Debian Squeeze is 0.7.38 while in Sid it’s 0.7.42).

When you have your ePub, you can check that it’s basically valid using this online validator. However, you can still run into several problems.

The first one I found was a Permissions problem. An ePub is just a renamed .zip file, containing lots of other files which make up your book, and Calibre appears not to give anyone else the permission to do stuff with those files.

The second one – and one that a lot of people have complained about – is unmanifested files. This problem, which is not explained properly by Lulu, is a simple one – in the .zip file, there’s a list of all the files that should be there ( this list is called content.opf ). Sometimes there are extra files in there that shouldn’t be – in my case Calibre generated a directory called META-INF but didn’t list it in content.opf .

So here’s what you need to do. Take the ePub file, and extract it (Windows users can do this by renaming yourbook.epub to yourbook.zip and using an app like Winzip. GNU/Linux users and users of other unixalikes can use the unzip command).

Next, change the permissions of all the resulting files so that everyone can access them. Here’s how to do that in Windows. In GNU/Linux you just run the command chmod -R 777 * (making sure, of course, that the directory you’re in contains only those files that you wish to alter).

Now, open the file content.opt in a text editor (like Notepad, Gedit or Vim). You should see in there a section like:

<manifest>
<item href=”Pictures/10000000000000CC000000A83F7DB793.jpg” id=”id3″ media-type=”image/jpeg”/>
<item href=”Pictures/100000000000012C000001C881668E50.jpg” id=”id5″ media-type=”image/jpeg”/>
<item href=”Pictures/1000000000000177000001781C2F2F04.jpg” id=”id8″ media-type=”image/jpeg”/>
<item href=”Pictures/10000000000001A2000001837F27C3DA.jpg” id=”id4″ media-type=”image/jpeg”/>
<item href=”Pictures/10000000000002BC000000E20000658C.jpg” id=”id2″ media-type=”image/jpeg”/>
<item href=”Pictures/10000000000003CF000002FA25F145A0.jpg” id=”id7″ media-type=”image/jpeg”/>
<item href=”Pictures/10000000000003F9000001D7FD934D20.jpg” id=”id6″ media-type=”image/jpeg”/>
<item href=”index_split_000.xhtml” id=”id129″ media-type=”application/xhtml+xml”/>
<item href=”index_split_001.xhtml” id=”id128″ media-type=”application/xhtml+xml”/>

This is the list of files that should be in there. Look through that list and compare it to the files you’ve got, and delete any files that aren’t in the list. If you have anything that isn’t in this list, Lulu will (quite rightly) reject it – you could have put anything in there along with your book, after all.

Now, you’ve got your list of files sorted out, and they all have the correct permissions. What you need to do now is create a new zip file with all of these in. But it’s not *quite* that simple – you have to make sure the file called ‘mimetype’ is the *first* file in the zip file, and normally when you create a zip file the files in it are listed either alphabetically or by time added.

So what you need to do is create a new file and *only* add the file ‘mimetype’ to it. In Windows you can create a zip file called mybook.zip using Winzip and add this file. In GNU/Linux, use the command zip -X0 mybook.epub mimetype .

Now, once you have this file, you can add the rest of your files. In Windows, you can use Winzip for this. In GNU/Linux, use the command zip -X9Dr mybook.epub [list of files and directories] .

If you’ve done this in Windows, you must now rename your file from mybook.zip to mybook.epub . Check your file in your favourite ebook reader (if you don’t have one, you can read files in Calibre as well as write them) and make sure it looks more-or-less like you want it to. Then check you’ve got everything right with this online validator and you can upload it to Lulu. If everything’s gone right, then this should be everything you need to do to get your book uploaded – assuming you don’t, like me, then get a server problem on Lulu’s end.

Linkblogging For 30/01/11

Posted in linkblogging by Andrew Hickey on January 30, 2011

Now that my book is out (still having problems with Lulu’s ePub authentication, but I will get that sorted soon) I can move on with my other writing projects again. Later today I’ll be posting my next Beach Boys post, I’ll be restarting my Doctor Who DVD reviews next weekend (I have to re-buy The Aztecs, as I brought it with me to the US to write the review last month, and Air France lost the bag), and some time this week I’m going to start a book-by-book look at Cerebus in detail. I’m also working on a short story to submit to the new Iris Wildthyme collection which has an open submission policy.

So you can expect a lot more Proper Writing from me in the next few weeks, but for now here’s some links.

(BTW I don’t intend to keep promoting the new book here, but I *would* appreciate some feedback on it from those of you who’ve bought it, either in comments here or on your own blogs.)

Via the Mindless Ones, here’s an absolutely amazing Shaky Kane piece, Monster Truck

One thing that’s always worried me is that legally, corporations have to behave like psychopaths. Overcoming Bias reports a step in the right direction in this regard.

A tip to men, though I would *hope* that most readers here wouldn’t need it – if you admire the blog of a scientist, the correct way to show this admiration is to make some comment about her ideas. “Your tits are incredible” is not likely to be appreciated.

Andrew Rilstone is very clearly and methodically demolishing the appaling Melanie Philips (who I thought idiotic when she was writing for the Observer fifteen years ago, let alone when she’s writing for the Mail now, after apparently having undergone a Sim-esque Damascene conversion to the lunatic right). Part 1, 2, 3, 4. I’ve said it before, but if I had to choose only one blog to justify the existence of the internet, it would be Rilstone’s.

In defence of infodumps


Your chocolate is made by enslaved children

Alleternalthings has two Jake Holmes albums for download

Birds can use their eyes to maintain quantum entanglement for longer than the best laboratory systems

And Liberal England has a Youtube clip of Bernard Righton, the politically correct working-men’s club comedian. I remember trying to explain this act to Holly once, as John Thompson was a neighbour of ours at our old house, but it’s an act which really is all in the performance.

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URGENT: Contact Home Office To Prevent Brenda Namigadde being deported.

Posted in politics by Andrew Hickey on January 27, 2011

Brenda Namigadde is to be deported to Uganda tomorrow. From Chicken Yoghurt:

The British Foreign Office advises visitors to Uganda that ‘homosexuality is illegal and social tolerance of it is low.’
David Kato could certainly confirm that. If he wasn’t dead.
” A Ugandan gay rights campaigner who last year sued a local newspaper which outed him as homosexual has been beaten to death, activists say.”
There’s no proof that Kato’s death and outing are linked. This must have worried him though…

” Uganda’s Rolling Stone newspaper published the photographs of several people it said were gay next to a headline reading “Hang them”.
Homosexual acts are illegal in Uganda, with punishments of 14 years in prison.”

Anyway, in other news we’re deporting Brenda Namigadde back to Uganda tomorrow.

“A lesbian woman due to be deported from Britain to Uganda has been told by a Ugandan MP that she must “repent or reform” when she returns home.
The politician, David Bahati, intervened in the case of Brenda Namigadde, due to be deported on Friday, saying he would drop a clause making homosexuality punishable by death in a bill he introduced to the Ugandan parliament.”

Very good of him, I’m sure you’ll agree. I bet that will put Brenda’s mind at rest. If you yourself aren’t sure about it, you can try and appeal to the Home Secretary’s better nature and ask her to heed the advice of her Foreign Office colleagues:

Ask her to exercise her discretionary powers to stop the flight, release Brenda Namigadde from detention and to grant her protection in the UK. Please remember to quote Brenda Namigadde’s Home Office Reference number 1166867 in any correspondence.

Rt. Hon Theresa May, MP
Secretary of State for the Home Office,
2 Marsham St
London SW1 4DF

Fax: 020 7035 4745

Emails:
mayt@parliament.uk
UKBApublicenquiries@UKBA.gsi.gov.uk
CITTO@homeoffice.gsi.gov.uk
Privateoffice.external@homeoffice.gsi.gov.uk

(Hope Justin doesn’t mind me quoting his blog post in toto, but I thought the signal boost important and am too tired to compose something myself).

My email, which you’re welcome to use as a guide:

Ref: 1166867
Dear Sir/Madam

I am writing to ask that the Home Secretary use her discretionary powers to release Brenda Namigadde from detention and halt her planned deportation to Uganda. As a lesbian Ms Namigadde faces immediate arrest on her return to Uganda, and imprisonment for 14 years. She may well face death, like David Kato, who was beaten to death yesterday because of his homosexuality.
Please do not let this woman, who has done nothing wrong and has already suffered unjustly by being interned in Yarl’s Wood, be punished any more for her sexuality.

Regards,
Andrew Hickey

Given the pretty appalling climbdown over civil liberties Ms May announced yesterday, I’m not holding out much hope, but we do supposedly have a policy of not deporting homosexuals to countries where they’d face persecution, so we’ll see…
Normal blogging resumes tomorrow

The New Book Is Out!

Posted in books by Andrew Hickey on January 25, 2011

For my 600th post here, I’m announcing that my new book, Sci-Ence! Justice Leak!, is out. It’s available as a hardback book with a pretty dust-jacket for twenty pounds, a paperback for ten pounds, a PDF for only three pounds, and tomorrow it should be available as an ePub for a fiver, so there’s a version for every taste and wallet.

The book, for those who haven’t read my recent deluge of posts on the subject, is a set of interlinked essays on Grant Morrison, Doctor Who/Faction Paradox, Jack Kirby, DC Comics, the ideas of ‘continuity’ and ‘canon’, quantum physics, black holes, the life trap, entropy, cybernetics, Liberalism, Hypertime and more. It collects all the ‘escapology and eschatology’ and ‘hyperpost’ essays, but does so in a way that makes it more than the sum of its parts – I’ve put a LOT of effort into structuring this, and it will, I hope, repay study. I’ve tried to make it the same sort of dense, fractally structured thing as Who Sent The Sentinels or The Book Of The War (though whether I’ve succeeded or not is hardly for me to say).

Now, this book has a VERY limited audience. I thought it would be limited to just me, but David Allison and Plok both liked it, so there may be as many as five people who would like it. But those people would *REALLY* like it.

I am very proud of this, and want those five people to find it, so could anyone who buys this, or who has a friend who might be interested, PLEASE let as many people as possible know about it? Even if you don’t like it, a link from a blog or a tweet might let someone who *would* like it know about it – and a bad review of this might be as attractive to the tiny number of people who would enjoy it as a good one.

I’m not asking for links to make money on this – there’s no way on earth I’ll ever make a decent hourly wage for the time this took – I’m just genuinely proud of this thing, and think that the few people who like it will like it A LOT, so I want them to find out about it.

Thank you, and thank you to everyone who’s read these 600 posts, without whom I would never have written this or my other book. And now this is out, I can go back to posting about other stuff, starting tomorrow.

Big Finish: Peri And The Piscon Paradox

Posted in Doctor Who by Andrew Hickey on January 23, 2011

Big Finish’s output has been very, very variable recently. In the last couple of years, since they started doing ‘trilogies’ rather than stand-alone stories, they’ve become increasingly likely to do complicated continuity-twisting stories – the Sixth Doctor travelling with the Second Doctor’s companion, the Sixth Doctor travelling with the *Eighth* Doctor’s companion, three Celestial Toymaker stories in a year… this month’s story involves the Sixth Doctor and Evelyn teaming up with DI Menzies (a character from the Sixth Doctor’s future who has to pretend she doesn’t know him) against Thomas Brewster (a character from a Fifth Doctor trilogy from a couple of years ago).

But then you get stuff like A Death In The Family, the recent story by Steven Hall (the writer of The Raw Shark Texts), which manages to play with continuity lightly and tell a story about the nature of reality, the nature of fiction, the power of words, and the sacrifices people will make for each other. The gimmick – the Seventh Doctor and Evelyn – and the continuity references (it ties up threads from at least eight different stories going back nearly a decade) don’t matter. A Death In The Family is as good as anything Big Finish have done in the last five years, and was far and away the best thing they put out last year.

It’s only the 23rd of January, but I already know what the best thing they’ll put out this year is.

Peri and the Piscon Paradox is part of the Companion Chronicles range – a range of stories closer to audiobooks than the full-cast dramas Big Finish usually do, where an actor playing one of the Doctor’s companions tells a story over the course of a single CD, with one other actor usually taking part to play a character they’re narrating to or something.

This one, by Nev Fountain, is a little different in that it’s two CDs long, and the second actor is actually Colin Baker as the Sixth Doctor. It’s also the single best multi-Doctor story ever. This post, like all my reviews, may contain spoilers from here on in, but be assured I’m not actually spoiling anything.

The first disc tells a story of Peri and the Fifth Doctor fighting a fish-monster-thing in LA in 2009, with the assistance of Peri’s ‘forty-several’ year old self, an agent for a secret government agency who Peri quickly grows to despise. It ends with Peri vowing never to become like her older self.

The second disc tells the story of Doctor Perpugilliam Brown, presenter of a ‘celebrity relationship counselling’ TV show, and how she gets dragged into a complicated plot by a man claiming to be someone she once met in Lanzarotte, more than twenty years ago, even though he looks nothing like him, and how that plot involves tricking a past self she can’t remember.

Those who remember Nev Fountain’s earlier Big Finish work, especially The Kingmaker, will recognise a number of his regular motifs as the story goes on. Not only are there multiple Doctors interacting without being fully aware of each other’s actions, and time paradoxes, there are many, many jokes set up in the first half that only pay off in the second. The first three-quarters of this story, in fact, is pretty much laugh-out-loud funny throughout. I know it’s hard to believe, given that Fountain also wrote for Dead Ringers, but it is a good piece of comedy.

And Nicola Bryant is excellent. Despite the fact that she’s hampered by having to do the accent and characterisation she lumbered herself with as a much younger actor, she manages to play the two Peris remarkably well, and it’s an astonishingly subtle, nuanced performance for someone who never really shone on the TV. Colin Baker is, of course, as excellent as ever, and is in it more than you might think.

But it’s only at the end, when the full story is revealed, that what Fountain is doing really falls into place and you realise just how good this actually is. In a couple of lines of dialogue, Fountain clears up a continuity problem that avid fans reading this have already spotted. At the same time, he also manages to make the story about things – about growing up, about betraying our youthful ideals, about our youthful ideals betraying us, and about how we harden with age and with compromise. It’s a very sad, very political story, in the end. He gives the story a bittersweet ending that fits in with my own preferred ‘all stories are true’ Doctor Who ‘canon’, and he manages to make the same scene seen from two different angles mean two totally different things. It turns what was already one of the best stories Big Finish have done in a long time into one of the best they’ve ever done.

A Death In The Family is better, but that requires you to have listened to more stories and to have an attachment to the characters. This is a wonderful comedy that suddenly punches you in the gut, and will do so no matter who you are.

All the praise that people have been giving Moffat’s A Christmas Carol should really be going to this story – it does the same things (and indeed some of the same things that this month’s main-range Big Finish story does) so much better that the TV story looks like a sad parody of this one. It’s a story that anyone at all could listen to and get a *lot* out of, and it’s something that could only have been done as Doctor Who. I’ve only listened to it once, but it may be in my all-time favourite Doctor Who stories. It’s certainly in my favourite Big Finishes (along with Davros, The Kingmaker, Jubilee, A Death In The Family, Doctor Who And The Pirates, The Holy Terror and Spare Parts) and is one I would urge anyone to listen to.

Even many Big Finish fans don’t buy the Companion Chronicles, because they’re seen as cheap filler things This one really, really isn’t. It’s as good as anything they’ve done. Buy it, if you like funny, intelligent, thought provoking science fiction, whether or not it’s labelled Doctor Who. It’s only a tenner as a download, and it’s worth every penny.

I do have one proviso though, that I feel obliged to mention even though it may be slightly more of a spoiler than the other things I’ve said

and that is that the ending may be triggering for those who have experienced spousal abuse. It’s dealt with sensitively, and in a way that’s necessary to the plot, but be aware that it’s there.

Sci-Ence! Justice Leak! The first review… and a spot of crowdsourcing

Posted in books by Andrew Hickey on January 22, 2011

I’ll be doing a proper post tonight, I hope – I apologise to my regular readers for the lack of them while the book’s been being put together. The book should be out very soon now – I’ve heard back from David Allison, Holly and Plok will both be getting their thoughts to me sometime today, and I don’t know if or when my fourth previewer will be able to get back to me (his involvement was conditional on other things, and he’s been extraordinarily busy). It’s days rather than weeks now.

Anyway, David has let me post some of his comments here, to give people an idea of what someone who’s actually read the book thinks:

I found the format a little frustrating for the first few chapters – I wanted more on each of the topics that you were writing about but you just kept pressing on. Still, better to leave people wanting more than to batter them into disinterest, eh? Since you DO return to most of your subjects more than once, this doesn’t end up being a problem, and as you well know the form suits your themes well.

Now I’ve always been a big fan of stories that express their themes in form as well as in content, and you’ve done that brilliantly here – the Best Man Fall/Mister Miracle chapter, which felt fun but slight on your blog, works perfectly as a culmination of what’s gone before. And then, typically, it turned out not to be the end of the book, but…. I genuinely think that if I hadn’t been “in” on this project in a couple of ways, if I was coming to it cold, then I would have probably went straight back to the start of your book and started reading it again when I got to that chapter. Please note: this is a feature, not a bug!

Make no mistake, I will read it again. I know I’m laying on the praise a bit thick here, but it’s well deserved. Like I said on That Twitter, these articles gain something by being collected in this way, which is important! There’s an implicit irony here, in that what they gain is a sense of cohesion, of authority even, but that doesn’t run contrary to what you’re trying to do – this is your story, and maybe it intersects with our own individual stories at points, but even when it doesn’t it’s good to know that it’s still going on without us…

Now, onto the crowdsourcing question. One of the articles in the book is this one, on Liberalism and Cybernetics. Now this is absolutely essential to the themes of my book, but it talks about the Lib Dems and was written pre-Coalition. I’ve attempted to address this with a footnote:

This essay was written before the Liberal Democrats joined a coalition government led by the Conservatives in 2010. This government has slightly less of this micro-managing tendency, though it has more than its fair share of other problems.

but I’m not sure this is enough. Put simply, the Lib Dems have such an image problem right now that two different people have told me (one of my proofreaders plus someone else on Twitter) that they’d had a visceral, gut reaction against seeing mention of the party in this context.

Now, I obviously don’t think that image problem is entirely justified, or I wouldn’t be a member of the party, but I do suspect that this means I might have to do some work on this essay, to separate Liberalism as a philosophy from the Lib Dems as a party from the Lib Dem/Conservative coalition government. As I see it, there are the following options:

1) Leave it as it is. It’s an accurate description of Liberalism and the Lib Dems. It’s not an accurate description of the current government, but it probably does a reasonable job of describing the Lib Dems’ role within that government, and the government is a temporary thing while the book will (hopefully) be permanent. And in some ways giving some readers that stumbling block might make them think more. Plus, the book is aimed at readers worldwide, and the image problems of the third-largest party in a small European country are not relevant to the vast majority of potential readers.

2) Replace it with What I Mean When I Call Myself A Liberal, which is a much more literal piece, and would work less well in the context of the book, but was written post-coalition so takes recent developments into account.

3) Put both the above pieces in. There’s duplication of material, but there’s also two articles about Darkseid, and two on Superman. Plus a longer book makes for better value. But do I really want to hit the readers over the head with my political views?

4) Write an entirely new piece containing elements of both the above, and run the risk of falling between two stools and being worse than either.

5) Other? (Suggestions welcome).

Note that removing the chapter is not an option. It’s not included to make readers sit through a party political broadcast about my own political views, or to win converts, but because it’s a cornerstone of the whole thing. Without that piece, the stuff I have to say about Batman comics, or Doctor Who spin-off novels, or fanfic, makes no sense.

Linkblogging For 20/01/11

Posted in linkblogging by Andrew Hickey on January 20, 2011
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All The Chapter-Header Quotes From My New Book

Posted in books by Andrew Hickey on January 19, 2011

Am still too tired and burned out for proper blogging, which will resume towards the end of the week, but I finally got the draft of Sci-Ence! Justice Leak! sent to my crack proofreading team last night, and so my slow plugging of this book continues.

Today, the chapter headers. Every chapter in the book starts with a quote, some short and some long. Here are the quotes in order.

“Art is not the application of a canon of beauty but what the instinct and the brain can conceive beyond any canon. When we love a woman we don’t start measuring her limbs. We love with our desires – although everything has been done to try to apply a canon even to love”
Pablo Picasso

THIS IS AN IMAGINARY STORY (WHICH MAY NEVER HAPPEN, BUT THEN AGAIN MAY) ABOUT A MAN WHO CAME FROM THE SKY IN A BIG BLUE BOX AND DID ONLY GOOD.
IT TELLS OF HIS TWILIGHT, WHEN THE GREAT BATTLES WERE OVER AND THE GREAT MIRACLES LONG SINCE PERFORMED, OF HOW HIS ENEMIES CONSPIRED AGAINST HIM AND OF THAT FINAL WAR IN THE BLIND WASTES BENEATH THE MEDUSA CASCADE; OF THE WOMEN HE LOVED AND OF THE CHOICES HE MADE FOR THEM; OF HOW HE BROKE HIS MOST SACRED OATH, AND HOW FINALLY ALL THE THINGS HE HAD WERE TAKEN FROM HIM SAVE FOR ONE.
IN THE BIG CITY, PEOPLE STILL SOMETIMES GLANCE UP HOPEFULLY FROM THE SIDEWALKS, HEARING A
DISTANT WHEEZING, GROANING SOUND.. BUT NO: IT’S ONLY A SAW, ONLY A MACHINE. THE DOCTOR DIED TEN YEARS AGO. THIS IS AN IMAGINARY STORY…
AREN’T THEY ALL?

“Biography lends to death a new terror”
Oscar Wilde

 ” ABSTRACT. This paper argues that at least one of the following propositions is true: (1) the human species is very likely to go extinct before reaching a “posthuman” stage; (2) any posthuman civilization is extremely unlikely to run a significant number of simulations of their evolutionary history (or variations thereof); (3) we are almost certainly living in a computer simulation. It follows that the belief that there is a significant chance that we will one day become posthumans who run ancestor-simulations is false, unless we are currently living in a simulation. A number of other consequences of this result are also discussed.”
Are You Living In a Computer Simulation? Nick Bostrom. Philosophical Quarterly , 2003, Vol. 53, No. 211, pp. 243-255.

“Nice to know there are some consistent things in this universe, eh, Lois?”
Jimmy Olsen

“What then is time? If no one asks me, I know what it is. If I wish to explain it to him who asks, I do not know.”
Saint Augustine

“The only thing I can think of to do in that situation is what I usually do, which is lie and pretend I totally meant that to happen all along. Like, instead of a real gun, it’s a magic crime-solving gun, and how I always knew Despero’s secret plan was to take over the universe. I might even mention a few proper detective phrases, like ‘dusting for prints’ or ‘checking the carpet for hairs’. Once I get started, I can keep it up for hours. That’s why I, Ralph Dibny – I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – am, or was, the World’s Greatest Detective! In your face, Batman, you truth-telling beeeyotch.”
Ralph Dibny

“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”
Terry Pratchett

“The Liberal Democrats exist to build and safeguard a fair, free and open society, in which we seek to balance the fundamental values of liberty, equality and community, and in which noone shall be enslaved by poverty, ignorance or conformity.”
Constitution of the Liberal Democrats

“The first thing to realise about parallel universes, the Guide says, is that they are not parallel.
It is also important to realize that they are not, strictly speaking, universes either, but it is easiest if you don’t try to realise that until a little later, after you’ve realised that everything you’ve realised up to that moment is not true.
The reason they are not universes is that any given universe is not actually a thing as such, but is just a way of looking at what is technically known as the WSOGMM, or a Whole Sort of General Mish Mash. The Whole Sort of General Mish Mash doesn’t actually exist either, but is just the sum total of all the different ways there would be of looking at it if it did.
The reason they are not parallel is the same reason the sea is not parallel. It doesn’t mean anything. You can slice the Whole Sort of General Mish Mash any way you like and you will generally come up with something that someone will call home. “

Douglas Adams

“Since he [Kirby] never got to complete his epic, New Gods and the other two are crammed with ideas and characters he intended to develop, explore and later explain. Even hanging around him, as I got to do in those days, I didn’t understand everything he included in those early issues, and still don’t.
But I’ll bet I would have, by the time he’d finished.”
Mark Evanier

“If the Universe came to an end every time there was some uncertainty about what had happened in it, it would never have got beyond the first picosecond. And many of course don’t. It’s like a human body, you see. A few cuts and bruises here and there don’t hurt it. Not even major surgery if it’s done properly. Paradoxes are just the scar tissue. Time and space heal themselves up around them and people simply remember a version of events which makes as much sense as they require it to make.”
Douglas Adams

“There’s this expression called postmodernism, which is kind of silly, and destroys a perfectly good word called modern, which now no longer means anything.”
Twyla Tharp

”Dear Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall,
Or Whomsoever It May Concern:
I recently received your letter of acceptance to Hogwarts, addressed to Mr. H. Potter. You may not be aware that my genetic parents, James Potter and Lily Potter (formerly Lily Evans) are dead. I was adopted by Lily’s sister, Petunia Evans-Verres, and her husband, Michael Verres-Evans.
I am extremely interested in attending Hogwarts, conditional on such a place actually existing. Only my mother Petunia says she knows about magic, and she can’t use it herself. My father is highly skeptical. I myself am uncertain. I also don’t know where to obtain any of the books or equipment listed in your acceptance letter.
Mother mentioned that you sent a Hogwarts representative to Lily Potter (then Lily Evans) in order to demonstrate to her family that magic was real, and, I presume, help Lily obtain her school materials. If you could do this for my own family it would be extremely helpful.
Sincerely,
Harry James Potter-Evans-Verres”

“In the beginning, there was only one. A single black infinitude. …so cold and dark for so very long …that even the burning light was imperceptible. But the light grew and the infinitude shuddered…and the darkness finally screamed, as much in pain as in relief. For in that instant a multiverse was born. A multiverse of worlds, vibrating and replicating…and a multiverse that should have been one, became many”
Crisis On Infinite Earths #1, page 1

“When I was a boy, I always saw myself as a hero in comic books and in movies. I grew up believing this dream.”
Elvis Presley

“And as the sun, that had been too afraid to show its face in this city, started to turn the black into grey, I smiled. Not out of happiness. But because I knew… that one day, I wouldn’t have to do this anymore. One day, I could stop fighting. Because one day… I would win. One day, there will be no pain, no loss, no crime. Because of me, because I fight. For you. One day, I will win.”
Batman #625

“Whenever you get creators talking about some inherit fall or failure in the medium or in any particular genre, they are mainly talking about their own flaws and failings in their own creativity. You can’t blame the medium: “I guess there weren’t that many super-hero ideas. I guess that we’ve used them all up.” It reminds me of the ancient Greeks when they were coming up with all these myths in the first place. The world of ideas is inexhaustible and infinite. You just have to find them, which an awful lot of people are not prepared to do. They’d rather let someone like Jack Kirby do all the hard work and mining and the back-breaking; mining an industry for thirty or forty years and then the nuggets that he happens to throw to the surface always find them and they put a new spin on them. They don’t want to do the hard work themselves. This is not a blanket condemnation of the whole industry. I think it’s fair to say there are a number of people in the industry who are much happier sort of working with stuff that’s already been placed, rather than to try and build up their creative muscles and do some of that work themselves. But that’s just my own particular feeling I’m sure.”
Alan Moore

“A raised weight can produce work, but in doing so it must necessarily sink from its height, and, when it has fallen as deep as it can fall, its gravity remains as before, but it can no longer do work.”
Hermann von Helmholtz

“For me, part of what it means to understand quantum mechanics is to explore the space of possible stories that can be told about it. If we don’t do so, then we risk making fools ourselves by telling people that a certain sort of story can’t be told when in fact it can, or vice versa. (There’s plenty of historical precedent for this.)”
Scott Aaronson, Quantum Computing Since Democritus

“In Omega we have in the first place the principle we needed to explain both the persistent march of things towards greater consciousness, and the paradoxical solidity of what is most fragile. Contrary to the appearances still admitted by physics, the Great Stability is not at the bottom in the infra-elementary sphere, but at the top in the ultra-synthetic sphere. It is thus entirely by its tangential envelope that the world goes on dissipating itself in a chance way into matter. By its radial nucleus it finds its shape and its natural consistency in gravitating against the tide of probability towards a divine focus of mind which draws it onward. Thus something in the cosmos escapes from entropy, and does so more and more.”
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

“Doomed planet
Desperate scientists
Last hope
Kindly couple”
All-Star Superman#1 by Grant Morrison, Frank Quitely and Jamie Grant

“You heard it direct from the mouth of science itself, nothing but nothing can escape the deadly gravitational pull of a black hole!”
Seven Soldiers: Mister Miracle #1, by Grant Morrison and Pasqual Ferry

“But there was war, even there. There was a war in Heaven. And the wrong side won. The Dark Side won.”
Seven Soldiers: Mister Miracle #1, by Grant Morrison and Pasqual Ferry

Oh?’ asked the dog, sounding rather withering. ‘Listen, Fitz. Learn to think of all these things as stories. And stories can’t contradict each other because, in the end, they’re all made up. Nothing can take precedence then. All right?’
‘I’m not sure I know what you’re on about.’
‘Well, you reckon the world you live in takes precedence over the world you’re reading about. So you’ve established a hierarchy, yeah?’
‘Of course! I’d be out of my tree not to!’
The dog was looking sceptical again. He gave a kind of shrug and started nibbling the herbs once more. ‘Maybe. But think how happy you might be if you didn’t have to make those choices about what you should invest belief in. Here in the Obverse you can think of it all as a kind of fugue.’
‘Fugue?’
‘Hmm,’ said the dog, chewing. ‘No contradictions anymore. Every story holding equal sway. It means there are always alternatives. And it means no natural ending.’
Fitz took his last drag on his cigarette and ground it out on the window sill.
‘I don’t believe it.’
‘No?’ asked the dog.
‘No. One reality has to be more valid than the other. It has to be realer.’
The little dog laughed and said, ‘Well… what if you found out that the one you’re in was the less real one? What if you found out that you yourself are less than real?’
Fitz laughed and looked at the moon.
‘You’re one hell of a dog. Do you know that?’
‘Oh, yes,’ said Canine primly.
Doctor Who: The Blue Angel by Paul Magrs and Jeremy Hoad

I Need To Write Some Stories About People Giving Me Millions Of Pounds…

Posted in Uncategorized by Andrew Hickey on January 19, 2011

Life imitating art

Blurb For Book

Posted in books by Andrew Hickey on January 18, 2011

I’m just giving the new book, Sci-Ence! Justice Leak! one final read-through before sending it to my volunteer proofreaders. Depending on how quickly they can read through it, and how many suggestions they make, the plan should still be for it to come out on Sunday.

Here’s the back cover blurb:

What do Batman, Doctor Who, quantum physics, Oscar Wilde, liberalism, the second law of thermodynamics, Harry Potter fanfic, postmodernism, and Superman have in common?
If your answer to that was “Nothing” then… well, you’re probably right. But in this book Andrew Hickey will try to convince you otherwise. In doing so he’ll take you through:

How to escape from a black hole and when you might not want to
The scientist who thinks he’s proved the existence of heaven and what that has to do with Batman
What to do if you discover you’re a comic-book character
Whether killing your own grandfather is really a bad idea
And how to escape from The Life Trap!

An examination of the comics of Grant Morrison, Alan Moore and Jack Kirby, Doctor Who spin-off media, and how we tell stories to each other, Sci-Ence! Justice Leak! tells you to look around you and say:

“This is an imaginary universe… Aren’t they all?”

And here’s the front cover

Cover of Sci-Ence! Justice Leak!

Cover of Sci-Ence! Justice Leak!

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